When it comes to planning weddings, couples usually (and rightfully so) get lost in the bigger picture. They’re thinking about how they want the day to feel, how they’ll want to remember their wedding, and even how their guests enjoy the experience.
And honestly? I can’t blame them. Those are all exciting, beautiful things they should focus on, and it’s always my hope that a couple gets blissfully caught up in what their dream wedding looks and feels like.
The only issue with that is that the big picture takes priority, and the details–especially important ones–sometimes take a backseat. One of those important details that often gets lost in the mix?
Choosing the right officiant for their ceremony.
As a wedding planner, I’m well acquainted with the moving parts and intricacies of planning a wedding. After nearly a decade of experience, I’ve learned that one of the elements that can make or break a perfect-fit wedding ceremony is choosing the right officiant.
But with so many options out there, how can you even begin to know how to pick the right person to officiate your wedding?
I’ve got plenty of tips and lots of experience in this department, so in this blog, I’ll be sharing every detail I’ve got up my sleeve for choosing the perfect-fit officiant for your special day.
What is as a Wedding Officiant?
First things first, let’s get a little foundational education out of the way. I’ve often found that couples don’t usually know who qualifies as a wedding officiant.
Most think that officiants have to be religious figures–pastors, rabbis, priests, etc. And while these individuals are typically ordained to lead and legally wed couples, they’re not the only people out there who qualify as officiants.
A wedding officiant is a person who performs the ceremony, signs your marriage license, and, in most states, legally marries a couple.
A wedding officiant can be anyone who is legally permitted to perform a marriage ceremony. So, yes, a priest or a rabbi can be an officiant, but anyone who’s legally ordained can technically perform a ceremony and sign on the “officiant” line of your marriage license.
Though every officiant is a little different, most often, though they write and perform your ceremony. A great officiant will know how to write a beautiful ceremony script that aligns with your vision of an ideal wedding ceremony.
In most states, couples are required to have a wedding officiant for their ceremony to be legal–but this isn’t true in every state. For example, in Colorado, couples can self-solemnize–this means that neither officiants nor witnesses are required for their ceremony to be legal.
That being said, even when officiants aren’t required, they’re still a staple in most ceremonies because they help guide the couple through their ceremony in a natural, meaningful way.
Tips for Choosing the Right Officiant for Your Wedding Day
There are so many unique officiants out there that can offer you a variety of strengths, but ultimately, the main goal is to choose an officiant that matches a couple’s personality, understands their goals, and fits right into their experience.
As a planner, I’m always looking for new ways to vet officiants to ensure they’ll be the right fit for a specific couple–when the vibe is right, a couple’s vision of their perfect wedding day can truly come to life.
Here are a few of my tried and true tips for choosing an ideal officiant for your wedding day.
Interview More Than One Candidate
To me, it’s best practice to choose a few different officiants to interview. While it’s totally possible you could find a stellar officiant on the first interview, it never hurts to scan your options and see who is out there. Usually, I choose two or three candidates that might be the right fit, then let my couples interview them and select the officiant that works best for them.
Book Ahead of Time
Often, officiant selection gets overlooked–and that can leave the couple scrambling to find whoever might be available. Truthfully, I think officiant selection should happen anywhere between nine months to one year before your wedding so you can really get a feel for who is right for you. This gives you plenty of time to find–and choose–an officiant that makes your wedding dreams come true.
Take Notes During the Interview
If you, as the couple, plan to lead the interview, make sure you’re feeling out a few things about the officiant. Consider factors like:
- Do your personalities work well together?
- Is it easy and natural to communicate with this officiant?
- Do they seem honest and transparent about their process?
- Are they professional–online and in person?
- Do you feel like you could trust them to do the best job?
- Are they a good storyteller?
- Can they hold interest?
Consider Professionals But Don’t Overlook Personal Ones
Yes, there are infinite possibilities for professional officiants out there–and lots of them would be fantastic choices for your ceremony. But just because a pro could do the job doesn’t mean someone close to you couldn’t do it just as well–if not better!
The professional vs. personal debate is always a tough one for couples. On one hand, if they choose a professional, their loved ones can sit back, relax, and enjoy their wedding. On the other hand, a family member or a friend knows the couple so much better–it could be more meaningful (and personal) to have them lead their ceremony.
Anyone can get ordained online–it’s easy! And to be totally honest, you don’t technically have to have your wedding officiated by an ordained minister if you plan to “get married” at the courthouse ahead of time or after your wedding. If you’d like to have someone you love wed you and your future spouse, but you don’t have time to get them ordained, this could be a seamless way to make that happen.
(Just remember–you do have to take care of it at the courthouse, or else you won’t be legally married!)
Having someone leading your ceremony that has a deeper connection to you can be incredibly special. A potential downside in this scenario is that it’s likely you’ll have to take a more active role in writing the ceremony. If you already planned on being hands-on in the process, though, this could be a meaningful way to experience your ceremony.
Wedding Planner Pro Tip: If you do plan on asking a friend or family member to officiate your ceremony, consider checking out tools like Provenance for help writing and creating ceremony scripts.
Check Their Status
If you’re opting for a professional officiant, you’ll want to make sure they’re legally ordained before you hire them. Take a peek at the list of registered officiants on your county’s website to ensure they’re a good pick.
Lean on a Planner to Help Get all the Details
Don’t be afraid to rely on your planner to help you with the whole process. Share a list of questions with them that you want them to ask–and you can even have them guide the interview if you’d like.
Consider questions like these:
- Are you available on my date and location?
- Can you sign a marriage certificate in the state of Utah?
- How long have you been officiating weddings? How many have you done?
- What kinds of ceremonies have you performed in the past?
- Why did you start doing this?
- How many weddings do you officiant on average per year?
- What is your process of creating a ceremony script?
- Will you help me obtain a marriage license or at least tell me what to do?
- Where can I find reviews, or can I please have a past client to call as a referral?
- Do you help with vows?
- Have you worked with my planner before?
- How much are your services, and what exactly do they include?
- Are you available for our ceremony rehearsal?
- Are you inclusive of all types of religious, non-religious, LLGBTQIA+, and civil weddings?
- What time on the wedding day will you arrive?
- What is the average time of a ceremony you usually perform?
- What will you typically wear to perform the ceremony?
- Do you have any requests or requirements to perform this ceremony?
- When will we see the first draft of the ceremony script, and how far in advance of the wedding will we receive the final?
- If you are unable to attend our wedding due to illness and such – do you have a replacement plan?
- What do I need to bring to the ceremony? What will you bring?
- What do you read the ceremony script from? Book? iPad? Paper?
- How do you handle the logistics of the marriage license post-wedding?
- Are you able to customize our ceremony based on our request?
What to Know About Marriage Licenses in Utah
Every state is different–every county is, too. I suggest applying for your marriage license through Utah County–even if you’re getting married in a different county in the state. In Utah County, your license can be completed online. They will email you several PDF’s that you will forward to the officiant and wedding planner.
Once you’re married, you will immediately receive a legal digital copy of your license via email, followed with a hard copy the county clerk will mail–all for the low cost of $50.
Check out more information about Utah County to determine if it’s the right choice for you.
The Ultimate Hack for Choosing a Great Officiant: Picking a Great Wedding Planner
At the end of the day, the best thing you can do for your officiant picking process (and to be honest, your entire wedding planning process) is choose a wedding planner that understands your vision. At Irene + CO Events, we’re always ready to help our couples find their right officiants–I’m sure your wedding planner will be, too!